First Century Christians (vs) Present day Christians.

First Century Christians (vs) Present day Christians.
by Prason Christopher Robin on Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at 4:10pm

Originally written in Tamil by Brother Vijay(http://vijay76.wordpress.com/)



I have written 14 great accomplishments made by present day Christians. These 14 achievement of us will prove to the world that we are better and knowledgable than the first century Christians.



1. The fact that Jesus was born on 25th december was not known to the first centuy Christians. It was not even known to Mary- the earthly mother of Jesus. They were under the assumpton that 25th December was the birthday of the Roman SUN GOD. They knew only about the Cross -Tree; The did not know about the X-mas Tree. It is also a sad reality that they had no idea about the Great Man of God - Santa Claus.
2. We know that we have to worsip the Lord in a church on a Sunday. But the early Christians did not know this truth and hence they were worsipping the Lord everyday. (Acts 2:46,47). Only the fourth Century Christians realised that they had to worship every sunday when this rule came into effect after a great group discussion in Heaven.
3. The first century Christians respected Mary - The mother of Jesus. But they were blind to the Truth that she was ought to be worshipped.
4. The first century Christians did not have a clue about the great discovery of the 20th century "Word of Faith Movement". They were idiots who never had Faith. If they had exercised their Faith by making Faith proclamations, they would have never gone through sufferings. The Lions would not have eaten them. They also never knew that they could download the Righteousness of God into them by repeating the words "I am righteous in Christ Jesus". If only they had known that they could "Prophesy Prosperity" they would have been richer than Bill Gates. They were blind jokers who were blind to the revelation that we have now.
5. God has changed his mind and he now lives in temples made of stones also. The early Christians thought that they were the body of Christ. The Apostles were the Church. They gathered together as the church. But they did not know that God hated that format of worship. They did not know that God lives in Big Churces where the Pastor doesn't even know 90 % of the members in the congregation.These truths were revealed to Chrstians after the 4th century AD.
6. The first century Christians thought that Baptism was to die and be buried with Christ to receive redemption for the sins. Only those who acknowledged their sins took batism. But after the 4th century, even new born babies started acknowledging that they were sinners and they were specially designed by God with a super brain.
7. Early Christians were under the assumption that the rituals of the Old covenant were abolished and replaced by the New covenant principles. But the TITHE of the Old Covenant has not been abolished according to the present day Christians.In the Old covenant, the Tithe food was to be stored in the store house. But the present day store house is the Bank account of the preacher. The first century Christians did not know this Truth.
8. The first centuy Christians were dumb to assume that a gathering of saints was building the spiritual bond among them and God.They were even foolish to consider themselves as different parts of the same Body of Christ. But the present day Christians have understood the real meaning of gathering of saints. The real meaning of gathering of saints is conducting spiitual meetings where evryone can jump in joy, roll around and laugh. After the meeting is over, we could go back to our worldly lives. This truth was not known to the first century christians.
9. The first centuy Chrisians had a wrong belief, that they were worshipping and pleasing God by offering their bodies as living sacrifices. But we know the real meaning of spiritual worship. Our Holy Spirt will get acivated when the bassist plays tap bass,the guitarist plays lead progressions with distortion and when the drummer packs a punch with his rolls. Very similar to Software updates, We have also updated our worship to new versions called soaking prayer, Prophetic worship, apostolic worship , rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL). The first centuy Christians might quote Romans 12: 1 and say that our worship is wrong. Let them say that, because they were beaten and bruised when they worshipped God according to Romans 12:1. But we get joy and happiness and we get drunk in the spirit when we worship God. Even Gold powder falls on us when we worship.Which worship is better? You decide!
10. The first century Christians preached a lousy Gospel and became enemies to many. By doing so, they thought that they were following God. But we use the same Gospel message and preach in such a manner that no one gets hurt. By using our brains, we preach a gospel through which we gain many friends. The early Christians lived in a small world and they went through a narrow gate. But the gate we enter through is Broad just like our mind. They thought that Gospel is about making disciples. But we know Gospel is about the number of people who get converted. Why care about quality when we have quantity?
11. The early Christians had three enemies ( World, Flesh, Satan). But we have only one enemy (Satan). We bind him, make him to dance like MJ; and we even tie him and throw him in Hell and burn him with Fire. What is this World and Flesh? The frst century Christians complicated things. The only world that we know is the rotating globe that we have in our home. Talking about flesh, we recommend everyone to eat the chicken breasts from KFC.
12. The early christians thought that a prophet is one who Edifies the Church by standing in the gap, as a gatekeeper and as a watchman. But we know that a prophet is one who places his hands on our heads to predict our future.
13. In the Old Covenant, there was a dfference between High Priest and the people. This system was referred to as the clergy-laity system.The first century christians thought that Jesus abolished this system on the cross (when the Veil Tore). They considered themselves to be brothers and servants for one another. Even the shepherds and elders were one among them. But we proved them wrong by the 4th century AD when we brought back the Cergy-Laity system to practise.
14. Above all,the crowning glory of our finding is our discovery that we could love the world and God at the same time. We have given a new meaning to Chrstendom with our discovery. The first century Christians never knew this truth.They loved only God and hated the world and because of that had a miserable life.